Wish List
another list. moomoos and 4lokos and the things that plague me and trix cereal
Wish list:
A fancy blender for my morning smoothies
A set of comfortable, oversized moomoos
Fancy silver jewelry, particularly rings, particularly rings that would make people think “she definitely eats pussy (very well)” when they see me
The windows on my Honda to be tinted so people can’t see me singing to myself
To float down from a cloud and land on something forgiving
To be released from the burden of knowing
An early 2000s video camcorder for vlogging
A weekly slice of plain cheesecake
To hold eye contact with someone without feeling like it means I owe them something now
The ability to let go of all that plagues me
The ability to live in tandem with the things that plague me, to play with them, to kiss them on the cheek, to say “I know why you’re here and I know why you have to stay”, to hold them on my shoulders, toss them into the air and yell “for he’s a jolly good fellow!”, to breathe them into my lungs in a way that doesn’t burn
An intricate, colorful rug. Thick, nicely made, huge
One of those bath things for your feet. You know what I mean. Like it does the bubbles and stuff. Somewhere to soak my feet that isn’t the bath. The ability to soak my feet while I sit on my living room couch
A big giant pot for soups that will last me 40 years
A goldfish
Every Junie B. Jones book
A liver that never had to process a 4loko
A hand that never had to touch her corpse
A mouth that knows when to quit
A magic 8 ball and a tamagotchi and to be able to solve a rubix cube in 10 seconds
Panasonic DMR-EH75VS
To be fluent in at least 6 languages
To know how to do a backflip
A phone that never dies and never rings
To hold something without squeezing the Good out of it like juicing a lemon
To allow myself to be held without withering like a butterfly in a closed fist
To fold myself up neatly like an old quilt, to make myself small enough to allow room for kindness, to make myself big enough to be seen, to fit inside of the hollow of a tree, to recall the taste of reckless abandon, for it to not taste like bile when I do, to tie myself in a knot around my regrets, to keep them nice and neat and contained, to pick a scab until it bleeds without consequence
Trix cereal the way it tasted in 2008
Golden Grahams cereal the way it tasted it 1987. Oh take me back. Also.. Goldfish are kind of sad. I had one when I lived in the city and I'm not saying you shouldn't have one, just be prepared for it to make you sad.
This is beautiful writing.